Fall break came and went like a thief in the night! Jake had the week off and spent the first half of it with family in Ohio. It is really difficult to travel as a family and be able to relax and connect with others when we arrive at our destination. Medical care away from home takes a lot of forethought and worst case scenario prepping. So we decided Jake would take a solo trip this time and spend time with his parents.

The boys and I hunkered down for most of the week, attempting to get Malachi back to his baseline. We left for therapies, errands, and a lunch date (they love “buying my lunch”) to a local place that exclusively sells chicken salad, one of Levi’s favorite meals. Our plate came with a pickle so I thought I would let Malachi get a taste of the juice. His first taste was successful and he signed more so I brought the pickle back up for round two. But sneaky Malachi chomped down and bit the pickle spear like an alligator, flooding his mouth with sour juice and the shock of it made him clamp down even harder. I went from a smiling, doting momma to a crazy, panicking lady trying to pry open the mouth of my wheelchair bound son. Nothing like a little pickle drama!

We spent time outside, enjoying the fall weather and playing on the playground.

And lots of time playing with the puppies. Both boys love playing with the dogs, and they are such gentle giants.

This week the boys and I will head to Vanderbilt for an appointment day for Malachi. I am going to attempt to take both of them, as it is an all day event…three hours each way and at least two hours for both surgeon appointments and X-rays. Please pray with me for my energy and clarity of mind. Sleep has been very rare this week and Malachi’s nighttime seizures have been frequent. Full moon weeks are very rough for epilepsy.

The boys also have a few other appointments sprinkled throughout the week; I call this a “thinking” week- a week that requires my brain to be fully engaged.

This life requires a lot of things from me that I simply don’t possess. This is a blessing, as it requires me to continually lean on God for His strength.

But sometimes my mind has a hard time seeing our everyday as a blessing. This week I have had several of those negative moments, feeling like a marionette puppet and not having much control over my world. It takes such an intentional effort to continue to see our calling through the eyes and purposes of God.

This week I spent a lot of time in the Word, trying to chase off my negative thoughts with scriptural truths. And I read a verse that has really challenged me that I thought I would share with you.

2 Peter 1:5-10 “Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they do not make you useless nor unproductive in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For the one who lacks these qualities is blind or short-sighted, having forgotten his purification from his former sins. Therefore, brothers and sisters, be all the more diligent to make certain about His calling and choice of you; for as long as you practice these things, you will never stumble;”

As I read this scripture I found myself treating it like a report card of sorts, self evaluating on each of the qualities listed. And I most definitely found myself lacking in many of them if I am being perfectly honest.

But the part of the verse that stuck out to me the most was verse 8 “For if these qualities are yours and are increasing they do not make you useless nor unproductive in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

It isn’t enough to simply possess these qualities. We are called to be continually increasing in them.

We are called to never settle and to constantly strive to practice these things, knowing that we are never meant to truly master them.

And that word, “diligence”. Making an energetic effort to pursuing these qualities of Christ. What a much needed remind to me this week that I am never meant to fully possess these things but honor God in my practicing of them. Our efforts in that striving are such a gift to God.

Please pray for strength this week. My body and brain are just so tired. I need a rejuvenation from God and a fresh strength.

Much love,

Leah