In true Carroll fashion the pendulum swung and I am typing this entry from Malachi’s bedside in the PICU.

Both boys ran fevers at the beginning of the week and Levi started bouncing back by Wednesday. Malachi immediately required oxygen but was comfortable enough that we decided to try to keep him home. We have an oxygen concentrator that goes up to 4 liters, a pulse ox machine, suction machine, cough assist, nebulizer, and so many other pieces of medical equipment that allow us to stay away from the hospital a little longer than most. But times like this week it still just isn’t enough.

Almost immediately, Malachi’s lungs sounded crackly so I did a Telemedicine appointment with his pulmonologist and he started him on antibiotics to combat any pneumonia that might be brewing. I was feeling confident and comfortable with our plan and Malachi seemed to be responding well to everything we were trying. We let him open his adapted dice roller and Chutes and Ladders early and we spent the week playing games, reading books, and trying to keep Levi entertained.

But as the week went on Malachi’s work of breathing increased and I watched his body start to heave for air. We watched him like a hawk for several days but on Christmas Eve we noticed a blue tinge to his lips and decided it was time for a visit to the emergency room. I asked Malachi “Are you scared because you can’t breathe?” and he signed YES YES.

There is a delicate window for us to make these decisions. We don’t want to overreact and go to the hopsital too soon, as Malachi recovers best in his environment/home. But if we wait too long and it becomes an emergency situation we have to call 911 as we are one hour away from the children’s hospital. The portable oxygen concentrator only goes up to 3 liters and we were beyond its capabilities so we dragged out the large oxygen tanks to get us there safely and made the drive.

The extreme cold temperatures in our area impacted the hospital in a huge way. Some of the heaters shut down, a water pipe burst, and a sewage pipe also burst. When we checked into the ER they were in the process of rerouting most of the patients in the children’s section to parts of the connected adult hospital. It was mid 60s in the room we were placed in and Malachi started to spiral pretty quickly as they ran diagnostic tests (blood work up, viral panel, chest X-ray) to figure out what was going on.

Malachi was diagnosed with RSV and his blood gas showed that he was retaining too much carbon dioxide which leads to acidosis. The only way to balance out those levels is to “blow” the extra CO2 out of his lungs and so they started him on 20 liters of very high flow oxygen. Obviously this much flow through your nostrils is uncomfortable and hard to get used to, but the immediate relief it provided was well worth it.

Malachi needed to be admitted to the PICU but they said that all of the beds were full due to the flooding situation. They explained that we would stay the night in the ER and move up the next day. As Malachi continued to worsen I quickly grew uncomfortable with the situation. He was going through spells of extreme agitation and heaving hard trying to breathe, even with the high flow. I started getting a little panicky myself, feeling like I was the only solid set of eyes on him in the busyness of the ER. We weren’t being routinely checked on and my anxiousness grew. Seeing Malachi go downhill so quickly made me emotional and the doctor finally came in to talk.

Me: He is making me anxious with how hard he is working. I am just afraid he is going to run out of energy and possibly code.

ER Doctor: So let’s talk about that. What do you want me to do if that happens?

Ughhh. I understand that the question has to be asked. I get it. But in that moment I was trying to convey that I was uncomfortable with how fast he was spiraling. An appropriate response would have been something to calm that or find a solution with me. Not immediately jump to the question of should we have life saving measures in place. That is not at all a conversation that a typical family would have in that moment.

Some people have DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) orders, but that is certainly not how our family operates. Obviously she didn’t know that. But her timing of that question hit me in the wrong way.

Immediately in my heart I was reminded that I needed to be an advocate for Malachi. But the truth is that regardless of how much I advocate, blog, and share our lives there will always be a percentage of the world that will fail to see value in the Malachis. But oh, what an undeniably beautiful and unique blessing Malachi brings to the lives of everyone who meets him.

Even though I don’t think the doctor meant harm I couldn’t help in my heart allowing it to impact my feelings of being “unsafe” in the ER. My mind started questioning, “If he were a typical child would they have made space for him in the PICU?” I am fully aware that maybe that is an unfair stance, but I am being transparent with you all. And I am very tired and fragile tonight haha.

4am rolled around Christmas morning and one of the doctors from the ICU came down to assess Malachi. She said they had a room ready for him and within the hour we were transported. I felt such a peace overwhelm me as we settled into the new space, knowing that he was in good hands and I didn’t have to carry the concern alone. The PICU at our hospital is great at including parents as part of the decision making process.

As far as Malachi’s respiratory status, he is currently stable and we are trying to get his carbon dioxide level and oxygen needs back to safe ranges. This process is different for every child, but as long as he is requiring the high flow we will remain in the ICU for close monitoring. Malachi is interactive and stable, just not healthy enough to leave the support of the hospital. We are seeing an increase of his seizure activity as we are trying to get food into his body again, and that is always a delicate thing to maneuver and continues to be one of our biggest daily hurdles.

In complete and total irony, the project Jake and I chose for our Christmas this year was writing letters and sending gifts to parents in the ICUs in this hospital. We have been in this position before on Christmas Day and it is such a hard road to walk. We talked as a family about what we were doing and Levi was so excited that we were helping other mommies and daddies who have kids in the hospital on Christmas. We explained that Jesus tells us to love one another and that is why we look for people who need to feel that love. As I explained all of this too him he started to get teary eyed with empathy, especially when we talked about his first Christmas in Cincinnati Children’s. Jake, Malachi, and I were living in a hotel next to the hospital and the emotional wear that day took on me was great.

Levi’s little heart just continues to grow larger for others. One of the other “traditions” we do each Christmas is pack up toys in the playroom and give them to other kids that might need them. We did this project a few weeks ago, but this week Levi found some empty boxes and packed them up. He excitedly brought me in to show me and asked if I could take them to other little kids who don’t have any. Sweet boy.

Our boys don’t have the tradition concept of “Christmas Morning” in their heads so we are able to get away with celebrating it on a later date this year when everyone is home together. But we did allow Levi to open his big present to help him handle my absence a little better. I had Jake FaceTime so I could see his reaction and it was so sweet. I did replace the picture of me in the corner though as I look like I have been in a cage fighting match and lost.

This time of year I can’t help but let me mind drift to Mary. I know I have shared similar thoughts to these in past years but it is fresh on my heart today.

Luke 1:28-31 “The angel went to her and said, ‘Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.’ Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, ‘Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God.’”

That was the moment that Mary’s calling was revealed to her.

This got me thinking about the moments leading up to Malachi’s birth that were foreshadowing moments of what was to come. Things I missed in the moment but looking back have such clear fingerprints from God.

13 year old Leah riding her bike to a farm down the road looking to earn some summer cash. What I didn’t know was that stable was used for helping disabled children and adults ride horses. I will never forget the Table of Contents in the information packet the owner handed me, telling me to go home and look through the packet and see if I was interested in volunteering. Each chapter was a different disability and it opened up a world I didn’t know existed.

College aged Leah, wanting to be a journalist or a writer. But I continued to feel a prompting from God to pursue the path of special education teacher.

And then there is the night of Malachi’s birth. I was laying in my bed in so much incredible pain when suddenly my feet hit the floor. I heard a clear and audible voice command “Get up and go”.

How special is it to realize that God has been preparing you for the very difficult roles He knows He is going to give to you. He is strengthening your muscles in subtle ways for the load He has hand chosen for you to carry.

As I look back on those moments I absolutely see the hand of God, but I also see something else in them. The step of obedience. Each one of those moments had a pivotal point of decision making or acceptance of the call.

And Mary did just that.

Luke 1:38 “‘I am the Lord’s servant,’ Mary answered. ‘May your word to me be fulfilled.’ Then the angel left her.”

How often do we say these words to God?

I am the Lord’s servant?

How often do we act as the Lord’s servant? Where our desire to serve and please Him is greater than our desires for autonomy.

So while I naturally mourn another less-than-normal holiday for our family I also recognize that there are opportunities for obedience within this week. There are moments where I can reflect God to others. There are moments where I can choose others over self. There are opportunities for me to be the hands and feet of Jesus to my son.

I am the Lord’s servant. May your word to me be fulfilled.

May we all act in humble obedience to the hard and beautiful things God calls us to. And may we do so with the grace of young Mary.

Please keep our family in your prayers. Healing for Malachi and peace for Levi as he deals with absence.

Much love,

Leah

When I opened this entry to start typing the website had a prompt question: Is your life today what you pictured a year ago? What a dangerous question for parents of medically complex kids. There are so many highs and lows in a single year that it seems like a dangerous game to play.

One of the biggest struggles I have had to overcome is the grief I carry for unmet expectations. We all have dreams of how we *think* things should go, and when our pictures don’t match reality it has the ability to sprout bitterness. And then that bitterness can overtake the tiny but good parts of our journey.

So to combat it, I have had to make the decision to let go of expectations. Take life 24 hours at a time, knowing that each day is different than the last. And embracing each day as it’s own mountain to be climbed.

One year ago today Levi had his first seizure and second seizure just a few hours apart. I remember watching his movements and feeling my stomach drop. If you are a mother to an epilepsy warrior you will know exactly what I am talking about. Watching a seizure and not being able to take the discomfort away is one of the hardest parts about being a medical mom.

Seizures dictate and control a large majority of our day already with Malachi, so seeing Levi having one really hit me differently.

But here we are, one year later and Levi has remained seizure free for 364 days. He is medicated twice daily for them and will remain on them indefinitely. We know that there are spots of brain damage, so seizures were always a possibility and now that they have happened the likelihood of them continuing is great enough to keep him on meds for life. It is not a seizure type he will grow out of.

While my heart still mourns over another diagnosis for one of my children, I can’t help but thank God for answers and medications for these issues. And I am so thankful that we have been able to control them, as Malachi’s are still very much uncontrolled.

Let’s just take a second and look at these handsome boys and how much they are growing!

Malachi will turn 10 years old in February! And he is going through a growth spurt; carrying him long distances is getting increasingly challenging.

And Levi is freshly 5 and still hilarious. Someone asked him this weekend what the name of one of his stuffed animals was, and he casually answered “Mephibosheth” with complete clarity (a Bible character who had physical disabilities so we focus on him often). He has been singing lots of Christmas music lately, focusing in on one line and singing it over and over again. This week’s chosen line has been “Repeat the sounding JOOOOYYY” over and over and over again.

This weekend we gave the boys an early Christmas present- a weekend trip with my brothers and their families! Malachi woke up giggling the morning of our trip and was the most excited I have seen him in a very long time.

We had 14 people total and spent the weekend in a brand new rental called the Camel Condo at Ocoee Riverside Farms in Benton, TN. We were the first guests to ever stay in this place and let me tell you…it is pretty magical. I am going to reveal a few secrets as I tell you about our weekend!

Secret #1 There is a sloth in the living room named Flash. Like a real life sloth. He has a two story enclosure and the second story of it is inside the living room. Flash is paneled behind the glass but spent the whole weekend chillin’ with us.

Secret #2 There are hidden bunk rooms for the kids. To get into them they have to open the unsuspecting wardrobes, climb through the coats, and push on the back wall/hidden door.

We didn’t tell the kids and wanted to let them explore and discover them, but I also didn’t want Malachi to feel excluded from the process and sharing in their excitement. So we let Jake and Malachi go hide in the hidden rooms before we brought the rest of the kids in.

Secret #3 There are windows in the floor of the hidden rooms that look down into the camel and kangaroo enclosures in the barn below! The kids spent hours watching the animals, the animals curiously peeking back up at them!

Secret #4 There is a secret 23 ft tunnel that connects the hidden rooms that is filled with exotic fish tanks. This was one of Malachi’s favorite places because of the low lighting.

Here is a quick video for you, and you can see Ed the camel through the window below:

Secret #5 The beds are hanging from the ceiling. This was a little complicated for Malachi so he and dad drove back to the house each night (just a 5 minute drive), but we let him play on the beds during the daytime. And Levi thought it was so special that just he and I got to have a sleepover each night. We had to balance being excited for the one child and downplaying the excitement when Malachi was around so he wouldn’t feel excluded.

Side note: this was a delicate situation for us as parents; we presented this as an exciting thing to Malachi that he could have mom or dad to himself each night at the house and let him choose. Thankfully this worked and he didn’t feel like he was missing out.

Aside from the place being absolutely immaculate and so incredibly thought out, they have some pretty awesome experiences you can book. We all booked a farm tour which includes interacting with most of the animals. I will let the pictures do the talking.

We frequent this farm often, and the animals ALWAYS think Levi’s hair is hay. It cracks me up every time. This llama is my favorite animal on the farm due to his lack of social etiquette.

We also spent time with exotic birds, kinkajous (honey bears), coatimundis, swans, emus, and so many other fun things. Some of our crew rode camels and some rode horses and ponies.

But more than all of that, we created some pretty special memories together. Card games, bonfires, and lots of catching up.

If you are ever in East Tennessee I can’t recommend this place enough! The owners are friends of ours and really amazing people. They also have covered wagons you can rent to stay in and a house on the river. Here is their website if you are curious: https://ocoeeriversidefarm.com/

And the link to the AirBNB for the camel condo: https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/656097203443410530?adults=1&children=0&infants=0&pets=0&check_in=2023-01-02&check_out=2023-01-07&source_impression_id=p3_1671421578_zNOFPsDjCVtVINQw

This weekend was full of fun moments, but also full of reality checks. Jake and I attempted to include Malachi in every adventure that we could and our bodies physically did not handle that well. My muscles have been quivering with exhaustion from scooting him through tunnels and secret passages. I want to give him the world, and even though these adventure are still slightly attainable, there is going to be a day in which we will have to make hard decisions about what we say yes to.

Every year when Christmas music comes on I find myself transfixed on the words. So many of those songs become worshipful for me as I am reminded of the great gift of Christ. There is one particular line that my mind keeps clinging to this week and it comes from the song ‘O Holy Night’.

A thrill of hope the weary soul rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!

Weary Soul. Has your soul ever been weary? It goes beyond physical or mental exhaustion. It is a feeling of deep down hopelessness, like nothing you do will ever change the outcome. It is a feeling of being trapped with no solutions in sight.

The weary soul is a common trait of medical mommas. You hear so many bad reports that the idea of a good report seems unfathomable. To protect your heart from hurt you start to simply expect the bad and spend time bracing for the next blow.

Each and every time I have taken a ride on the ICU roller coasters with my boys I have experienced moments where my soul grew so incredibly weary. But I also experienced the thrill of hope these lyrics reference. The glimmer of progress, healing, and change. The bright eyes from the doctors that attempt eye contact rather than avoiding it. Talk of discharge dates and medication titrations.

And just like this song says, ‘a thrill of hope the weary soul rejoices’. Like a burst of fresh air from an open window, hope brings newness and fresh eyes. Hope excitedly expects rather than wishes and dreams.

So how and where do we find this hope? Even when I tried my absolute best, it wasn’t something that I alone could manufacture. There isn’t a seed you can plant that produces a crop of hope in your life. Hope is something that only God can produce in your life. It comes with recognizing His faithfulness through the hard parts. The Bible actually talks about it in Romans 5:

“And not only this, but we also celebrate in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”

Tribulations=perseverance/longsuffering=proven character=hope

Hope is a breathe from the Lord when we continue to turn to him in the moments we are short on air. It is His gentle reminder that we weren’t made to do the hard parts of this life on our own, and He is ready and willing to walk hand in hand with us through the valleys and the mountaintops.

The thrill of hope is what keeps me going. I know that my children will be healed fully, either on earth through a miracle or on the other side in heaven. Without that knowledge the burden that I carry would be too much for me.

The thrill of hope allows my weary soul to rejoice even in the hardest chapters.

“And hope does not disappoint” because it keeps our eyes focused less on the seen and more on the unseen.

I am rambling now so I am going to wrap this up. Thank you for checking in on our family. We are so thankful for our community that offers love and support!

Sincerely,

Leah

The highlight of our week was Malachi getting his new “boots”! These boots are called ankle-foot orthotics and are specially molded to his foot to help keep them in the correct position and fight his spasticity. Without them, Malachi’s brain would miscommunicate to his muscles telling them to pull his feet up.

Jake and I had to make the hard decision many years ago to focus all of our decisions on quality of life over quantity of life for Malachi. We will continue to fight in every way possible to increase both of those things, but sometimes we have to choose. Malachi’s legs and hips are a very good example of that decision. Both of his hips have been pulled out of socket for years and are floating out of position. We could surgically repair these but statistically his brain would continue to tell those hip ligaments to keep pulling and they would likely slide out of socket again.

At this point his hips are not causing him pain, and aside from not being able to bear weight on his legs he is not affected. So we continue to not pursue the corrective surgery as it is a very extensive one and hard on medically complex children. Because Malachi is non weight bearing his feet have always been shaped a bit differently and everything has to be extremely customized. We lovingly call them his marshmallow feet. Right now insurance allows a new pair of AFOs every year or so.

Malachi was so excited with anticipation to get his new shoes. He picked Spider-Man themed at the fitting and he giggled the whole drive to pick them up. I dressed him in full out Spider-Man so he would be all coordinated for the big day.

After lots of modifying and final touches we rolled out with these beautiful boots. I put them alongside one of his first pairs from 1 year old Malachi for reference.

Seeing him get excited about new things is one of the biggest joys in my week. The unknown of what he is getting for Christmas is driving him crazy, and of course I keep bringing it up to help build the excitement. Malachi joy is such a blessing to me.

Levi has been embracing his new bedtime routine with lots of emotions, but we are making progress.

One thing he is always sure to prioritize is our “Levotions” (family devotions) each evening. He is a sponge for the things we have been talking about. We cleaned out the playroom this week and he re-discovered some musical books with children Bible songs in them. He has locked in on “Jesus Love the Little Children” and I am not exaggerating when I tell you we have listened to it hundreds of times this week. He even snuck it into the car when I wasn’t looking so he could serenade me on our hours long car ride. But in all honesty, is really is sweet to hear his little voice belting it out.

This weekend has been a challenging one as we have packed in lots of things on the calendar.

Saturday was the high school girls soccer banquet. I think this is our 11th season of coaching at the school, and each season I am even more grateful for the unique gift of coaching together.

Then tonight we had the youth over for their Christmas party. We still try to have them over for dinner and Bible study once or twice a month. We had several boxes of leftover graham crackers from our last event that were expiring so we came up with a fun challenge for them to create a Bible story with the supplies we gave them (leftover candy from our fall event) and we would vote for a champion. The finished products were actually pretty impressive. And I definitely underestimated the mess.

This one is the story of the young men lowering their friend down through the roof of the home Jesus was teaching at.

And this one is Moses parting the Red Sea, being chased by Pharaoh and his army.

Truthfully, we overextended this weekend. And even though I am very aware that I am the one who overbooked the schedule I tend to develop an eye of bitterness. The devil starts to plant thoughts of resentment in my head for the added responsibilities these types of weekends can bring.

This morning I was getting ready for church and I felt that bitterness creep in thinking about the to-do list for the day. And then I let the internal dialogue continue to fuel the fire.

It wasn’t long before I successfully turned myself from creator to victim of this tough schedule.

And in turn I successfully turned myself from servant to consumer, “deserving” things rather that simply serving.

And as I finished getting ready God placed a very specific phrase from a verse on my hear: “He emptied Himself.”

As the words played in my mind and heart I knew it was a gentle nudge from God to open up my Bible and read.

Philippians 2:5-8 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, as He already existed in the form of God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but emptied Himself by taking the form of a bond-servant and being born in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death: death on a cross.

And as I read I was overcome with such a feeling of love for Christ and the gift He is. He set aside His privileges as King to come and serve. And when He served He did so in full humility, emptying Himself as an act of love to others and bringing glory to the Father.

Sometimes we needlessly empty ourselves on fruitless, worldly efforts. But other times we have beautiful opportunities to empty ourselves for others, knowing that our sacrifice is bringing glory to God. My world is full of those moments to empty myself for my children, and while that is a blessing it also introduces more opportunities for the devil to try to refocus my eyes on “me”. What a great challenge in self control for my heart to practice.

Much love,

Leah

Let’s start out this post with handsome pre-teen Malachi sporting a new hairdo, styled by his buddies. He is going to be 10 years old in exactly two months!

He had temporary blue tips and everything! He loved the process and seeing him smile so big blessed me. I am thankful for very sweet friends who think to include him in even the smallest things.

And Levi, of course, got to put a little blue in his hair too.

This year we decided to focus a portion of each evening on Advent, a season of reflecting on God and the gift of His Son. We are using a family devotional book titled “The Advent Jesse Tree” by Dean Lambert and we sit down as a family each evening to read the Word together and put a new ornament on the tree that reflects something God has done for us.

Both Malachi and Levi are thoroughly enjoying this and listen so intently. I asked them one evening this week: “Do you know what gift God sent to us to show us His love, even though we don’t deserve the gift?”

Levi nodded yes excitedly and with such gusto proudly answered: “A COW!”

Watching a child learn is something I didn’t realize I would enjoy so much. Especially when they are unfolding truths about God.

This week someone asked Levi if he was excited about Santa. We don’t do Santa or other imaginary characters in our home for a few reasons, but the main one being that we do not want to muddy the waters between truth and fiction. We talk a lot about heaven in our home and the promises of God and when the time comes that we need to rely on those promises I don’t want there to be a speck of doubt in our family of what is real. There are so many other reasons that led us to that decision, but that is a conversation for another day.

Levi’s response: “We don’t talk about Santa in our family, we talk about Jesus.”

Hearing those words come out of the mouth of a 5 year old unprompted by me gave me the chills. And what fuel it was to my soul to keep taking discipleship in my home seriously.

This week I tackled the bottom pieces of the to-do list…those few items that I keep pushing off and hoping they will magically self resolve before I have to attempt them. There are many hidden hoops to jump through in this world and I don’t always have the energy to jump. There is a fight in this world that you don’t know exists if you aren’t immersed within it.

The insurance battles would blow your mind. Things like a shower chair for me to safely clean Malachi are deemed as “comfort items” and therefore “not medically necessary”. I appeal. They deny. I appeal again. And round and round we go.

Malachi’s insurance will cover incontinence products (diapers). But none of the diaper companies will take our insurance- an elimination process that took me hours to complete. So we end up paying out of pocket for so many of these things that insurance says they cover.

Levi had another g-tube pop this week; this is the third one since October. We get four for the entire year and we are supposed to change it out every three months. Clearly there is a defect with the tube batch we have been sent, as he is only using the tube part time and is very careful with it. But rules are rules with insurance and to get another replacement to have for peace of mind costs $160.

We have been in this world for almost a decade so it has become strangely normalized to do the hoop jumping. But the bitterness if creates within me is still very real.

This week I sat down to work on Levi’s school paperwork. The form had a medical history question and a very small space for the parent to list the history. Obviously this wasn’t enough space to list even a brief summary of Levi’s life so I sat down to focus on typing a page (or three) summarizing Levi. The more I typed the more I remembered how truly far he has come.

We are in a world full of miracles but also a world filled with so many miracles in waiting. Trusting in the timing of God is such a challenge, and something I have to daily choose to do.

I started reading in Luke this week, attempting a chapter a day leading through the life of Christ. There are 24 chapters in the book so by the time you go to bed Christmas Eve you have reflected on the gift of Christ as our Savior.

I have always been fascinated by John the Baptist, but it wasn’t until after I became a parent that I began to truly appreciate his parents and their role in God’s plan.

Luke 1:6 tells us “They were both righteous in the sight of God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and requirements of the Lord. But they had no child, because Elizabeth was barren, and they were both advanced in years.”

Zachariah and Elizabeth were living a life that was pleasing to the Lord. And then comes that word…BUT…the word I have grown to loathe. It is the word I have heard roll off the tongues of doctors and surgeons dozens of times, taking the hope that I carried and shattering it yet again.

“It opened his airway a little, BUT it isn’t quite enough for him to go home without a trach.”

“He’s alive BUT it isn’t looking good.”

It is the less than subtle transition word that takes things from beautiful to devastating. And even in this Biblical narrative we see that living a righteous life does not exempt us from the “BUT”.

How often do we convince ourselves that we can earn the good things from God? We treat righteous living like a formula to produce comfort and success rather than it simply being a love language to our Father.

God could have blessed Zachariah and Elizabeth at any time with a son, but He had hand chosen them to be the parents of the messenger and forerunner of Christ (foretold in the books of Isaiah and Malachi). His timing is always perfect, even when it doesn’t happen in the frame we foolishly believe it should.

The Bible tells us time and time again about the trials we should expect to face. John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. BUT take heart! I have overcome the world.”

In this season of advent, focusing on the excitement of what was to come, I am choosing to change the lens of my unanswered prayers. I choose to believe that our “not yet” miracles are because God is working on something immeasurably more than all I can ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).

Much love,

Leah