We kicked off the week with a day of therapy appointments and a visit with the epileptologist (seizure doc) for Malachi. For any new readers, here is a very basic summary of seizures in the Carroll household.

Levi’s Diagnosis: Complex Partial Epilepsy. Levi has just one seizure type and it is currently being controlled with medication. Our treatment plan is working so we will not be changing the regiment until it stops working so well! Next month will mark one year seizure free with his medications on board.

Malachi’s Diagnoses: Lennox Gastaut Syndrome also known as LGS (multiple seizure types that develop throughout lifetime), and intractable epilepsy meaning his seizures can’t be fully controlled with medication. Malachi’s seizures started around 9 months old and have evolved tremendously since then. He is up to four different seizure types, and we have three controlled right now. But he is still having 4-6 seizures a day, even with three different anti-convulsants on board every morning and evening.

Could we get more seizure control? Possibly. But every time we try to change medications we end up exchanging our interactive Malachi for a sedated one, even after the titration period is up. The reality is that Malachi’s seizures are a symptom of brain damage, and that is something we can’t fix. So much of our decisions for him are filtered through a quality of life flow chart that I have made up in my brain. Sedated, seizure free Malachi is just not a quality life for him.

Right now we are in a content spot. Yes, he is having seizures but we see to be in a safe-ish place with them so we will continue the medication regiment that we are currently on.

Let’s talk honestly for a quick minute…Mom take.

People with LGS are 24 times more likely to die prematurely. Granted, there are lots of factors in that statistic but we are very aware of the gift that each day on earth with Malachi truly is. Statistically seizures are one of the most life threatening things on our radar. So dealing with them daily continually threatens my emotional stability in so many ways.

Changing gears.

We packed so much fun into this week! Due to sickness in extended family we ended up staying local for Thanksgiving. We aren’t huge holiday people but like to create memories and cherish our family time with just the four of us. We spent the day riding around on the little truck and smashing our old pumpkins in front of a trail cam to see what animals would come visit.

We also spent lots of time outside playing on the playground and burning some energy.

The day after Thanksgiving we loaded up and headed to the local tree farm! It is run by the family of one of Jake’s former students and they are always so friendly and sweet. You choose and cut your own tree for $25. Both Levi and Malachi were absolutely giddy on the way to pick out a tree.

Malachi has a lot of opinions when it comes to Christmas trees. Jake tried to talk him into a “Blue Ice” tree and Malachi signed no. He signed yes to a very soft needled tree but it was too fat for our space. So after negotiations we settled on a skinny, tall tree.

We brought it home and dressed it up, much to the boy’s delight.

Levi started his basketball league again this week and was eager to get geared up for the game. He was a bit more focused since last year, so that is progress I guess haha. It is still like watching coaches try to herd grasshoppers.

This Thursday kicks off our bedtime revamp. Levi will be starting half day preschool after Christmas so the month of December is dedicated to changing sleep routines. Right now Levi goes to bed between midnight-1am and Malachi goes to bed around 4am (6am on Thanksgiving night). I put Levi to bed late so I can keep both boys on the same wake up time range and try to squeeze in a few hours for myself.

But with preschool starting Malachi and I will need to leave the house to drive Levi to school by 7:30 each morning. I am not convinced I will be able to adjust Malachi’s internal clock, but by golly I am going to try. We are also subsequently going to have to start inching medication times and feed times around so I can medicate Levi before leaving for school each day. We welcome any prayers for a peaceful transition month.

Psalm 37:3-7

Trust in the Lord and do good; Live in the land and cultivate faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He will do it. He will bring out your righteousness as the light, and your judgment as the noonday. Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him;

The amount of beautiful reminders in this verse are absolutely amazing. There is so much simplicity and peace in these verses.

Trust in the Lord and do good: Our calling is to trust God enough to live a Spirit driven life and do good works which He prepared in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:10)

Live in the land and cultivate faithfulness. Wherever God has placed us, and whatever situation He has placed us in, our focus needs to be on cultivating faithfulness which will then produce the crop (a heart of contentment).

Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart. This isn’t a genie in a bottle type situation. But rather, the more you delight yourself in the Lord the more your heart’s desires will reflect Christ in you. When you are delighting in God and His goodness it strips us of the unhealthy opportunity to delight in ourselves.

Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He will do it. Do I do this enough? Commit my ways to God with complete confidence and trust?

But those final words are the kicker for me this week…

Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him. What does “resting in the Lord” look like? I think that answer is going to be different for each of us, but I can admit to you that I do not do this nearly as much as I should. But also being honest….resting in the Lord feels like maybe exactly what I am craving right now.

We are being asked as a family to wait patiently for so many things…healings, bodies, psychological wounds. Patience has been a personal conviction of mine, and one God continues to press me on over and over again in His Word.

I had to erase a whole paragraph because it looked like jibberish from my jumbled brain. And I have fallen asleep staring at the screen at least 5 times now. I really, really want to write a better devotional for you all but my brain is not cooperating. I thank you all for taking the time to check in on our family and for keeping us in your prayers.

Much love,

Leah

Our little Levi is officially “a whole hand” as he says it. I told him that he could choose his birthday dinner and after lots of deliberation he said “I want a steak in a restaurant that I don’t have to share with anyone else!”

They not only brought him out his own tiny sirloin steak but also a dessert for all of us to share. And Malachi loved it too.

His other request for his birthday was to eat a turkey sandwich in dad and mom’s bed. His little grin as he lounged back against the pillows and took that first big bite was precious.

The fact that both of Levi’s birthday requests involved food reminds me of the many blessings and miracles we have been given in his life. So many kids with paralyzed vocal cords can’t eat, drink, speak, or breathe on their own. And our little warrior is verbally asking to eat a steak on his birthday…the exact birthday that is the marker for this difficult diagnosis to be considered permanent. That is a God moment for sure.

I love the simplicity of children and how even the smallest things are such a big deal. Levi had a wonderful birthday with fun surprises from friends, a new scooter from grandma and a birthday card from Grammy.

The boys both had a trip to the dentist this week, which is always an adventure. Levi’s medical PTSD flares like a bonfire and Malachi has never liked things touching his mouth so they keep everyone hopping. Did you know that seizure medications can cause some pretty intense issues with teeth? Malachi takes 3 anti-convulsant medications (so 6 doses a day) for his epilepsy and Levi takes two larger doses a day for his. Watching their teeth and addressing the issues, especially with Malachi being non-verbal, is a top priority.

You likely already know this, but Malachi had to have 15 of his 16 teeth surgically removed as a baby due to lack of enamel. He has had capped teeth for years and those are now getting pushed out of the way by incoming adult teeth. What wonderful growth and progress for us to see his real teeth again!

The boys also had their weekly therapy at the horse barn.

And lots of time at home to read books, catch up on laundry, paint, and play.

Tomorrow we head to the hospital for some appointments and then we are looking forward to a delightfully boring week with Jake off from work. We have started trying to decide what our family service project with be this year; I am feeling led to do something for a NICU family again but I am still praying for God’s leading. In order to fund our project each year we go around the house and “shop” for things we don’t need anymore that we can sell and donate the money towards our project. It is always a fun activity that the boys both seem to get into and helps keep them focused on looking to give to others the way that Christ did. So this week is purge week as we hunt for things around the house.

We are also working hard to fill all the nativity orders for the youth group. Check out the batch we finished this evening!

We still have a few more dozen to knock out, so we will be having some more work days here at the house to let the teens finish those. I am so proud of their hard work.

So another birthday in the Carroll house means another walk down memory lane, leading to some really hard moments for me. As I have said before, the day that they were each born was one of the best and yet most traumatic days of my life. Levi was born 6 weeks early, weighing just 4 pounds 8 ounces. The 7.5 months leading up to his birth I was followed very closely by doctors and continually told that while small, he was healthy and progressing well. We were at the doctor every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for tests and monitoring as well as shots every morning and evening. And eventually I had another placental abruption that required another c-section under general anesthesia. Jake and I both had to miss the birth of both of our children.

We were given the opportunity to interact with Levi in his incubator for just 6 minutes before he was whisked away in an ambulance to a higher level NICU. And the pendulum flew from happy new mom to grieving mom. Levi spent his first three nights alone with his nurses before I was released and finally able to get to him.

If I am being perfectly honest with you, the mom guilt surrounding Levi’s birth is so incredibly thick. I recognize that there really weren’t many things that I could do differently but there are a few of them that my brain can’t release the guilt of. And birthdays trigger those in a profound way.

It took the specialists 14 days to figure out what Levi’s true diagnosis was. In the meantime he was treated like a preemie in the NICU, none of us fully understanding the magnitude of his true condition. He was on a ventilator and off a ventilator, on oxygen then trialed off oxygen, on CPAP and off CPAP. Round and round we went trying to monitor progress that in the end his diagnosis would have never allowed.

This video is a perfect example of the mom guilt I carry. Levi had been on CPAP for most of the day and they decided to trial him off of his oxygen. As I look at this video now I can see so many red flags of a child struggling. Yet there I am, completely aloof and singing to him as I tried to pretend like my baby was going to be just fine. I knew better. I knew his color was off, I knew those retractions were out of this world, and I didn’t intervene.

When I look back at this video the questions my mind wanders to the thought, “Is THIS the moment that he was under supported and his brain started to die off? Is THIS the moment that the oxygen deprivation attacked his optic nerve and this is the moment that is causing him to lose his vision in his eye? Is THIS the moment that caused his cerebral palsy? His epilepsy?”

I simply sat next to my son and sang Jesus Loves You, caught in a world of denial and longing for that eye contact from my newborn to assure me that he was going to be okay. But I remember deep within my soul I felt panicky, knowing that something was very wrong.

Did I do enough for my son? Did I advocate hard enough? Was I present enough physically, mentally, and emotionally?

The mom guilt is suffocatingly thick each time another birthday comes as I run through the what ifs.

I have been all over the Bible this week, spending time in Romans again.

“The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.” Romans 8:6

And reading this verse made me really contemplate who the governor of my mind is. The pretty answer is “God”, but is that an accurate answer in my life?

Our mind will be influenced by our flesh, but at what point does it cross over into us being governed by it? I would say that this week I allowed myself to drift away from the Lordship of Christ and lean in towards my flesh as I reflected on Levi’s brith. I allowed myself to be governed by it, concluding that there is something I could have done that would change the story that He is writing now.

God is the author of Levi’s story, and not a thing will happen (or has happened) to that child that is outside of the will of God.

A mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.

My prayer this week is not only that I can keep my mind focused on the Spirit and its work in our life, but that I can do a better job spotting the subtle shifts that it tries to take towards the flesh.

Much love,

Leah

I am going a bit cross eyed staring at the screen tonight so please ignore my grammar errors and crazy thought trails. We just pulled in the driveway after an adventure filled trip to Ohio!

Sickness in our small town is so rampant that they closed the school system last Monday. With this bit of information and an upcoming trip we decided to hunker down and try to dodge germs. I kept the boys at the house most of the week, even canceling therapies as the boys weren’t 100% yet. Our lock down paid off and on Thursday the kids and I headed north. Jake had to work and we do all that we can to preserve his days off for long term hospital stays and surgeries.

But we did get haircuts for the boys. They were long overdue, so I did a before and after for you.

Both of the boys were giddy with excitement as we pulled onto the highway for the 6 hour drive! When we finally made it to Skyline Chili (one of our favorite hometown restaurants) Malachi and Levi were all smiles, knowing we were almost to our destination.

As we passed the hospital I used the moment as an opportunity to remind Levi that not all Ohio trips equal surgery. Here is how that conversation went.

Me: “Wave to the hospital Levi! You don’t have to have any surgeries this trip!”

Levi: “Will my surgeons be sad that they won’t see me?”

Me: “No, they have other little kids that they will be helping.”

Levi: “I feel so sad for those other little kids that have to have surgery.”

Sweet little boy. Such empathy for others.

If I am being honest, I was pretty anxious about this trip. Knowing that there was a great potential that we could arrive in Ohio and then manifest some crazy sickness made me pack a bit differently. I loaded up lots of worst case scenario machines (oxygen concentrator, pulse ox, etc) just in case. Thinking through all of the smaller items that need to also be packed can get overwhelming…tape, cannulas, sensor strips, gtube extensions, formulas, feeding bags, ice packs, bottles, medications, syringes, diapers, and so much more. And so many of our things are specialized so running by the store to pick up what we forget just isn’t an option.

We arrived around bedtime Thursday night and tried to get settled. My dad has a guest room in his basement that is set up perfectly for a special needs situation; there is a sink and a fridge in the room off the guest room. I started by stripping the bed and putting a waterproof picnic blanket underneath in case we had a feeding tube incident, which sure enough we did! That night I fed the bed (the formula poured out of the sides of the extension instead of making it into his belly, but thankfully the waterproof blanket kept it from ruining their mattress.

Our days were filled with lots of family visits. Both Jake and I are originally from Ohio and most of our family has remained there. So we were able to visit all parents, grandparents, great grandparents, several cousins, and so many more thanks to my cousin’s wedding on Saturday!

Levi is so impressed that great-grandma has an elevator in her house (assisted living facility).

Both boys did so well at the wedding, staying polite and quiet during the ceremony and adapting well in the reception. The music started and Malachi started to get a bit uncomfortable and we knew it was time to quietly step out. His little brain was on overload and usually that leads to a large seizure.

Malachi was caught off guard by how many people at the wedding knew him. It was held at a church that fervently prays for Malachi so several people came up to him saying “Is THAT Malachi?” Watching his little grin made me so happy. He felt like a celebrity.

They loved the idea that they were my wedding dates for the night. It was the first time they have been to a wedding and Levi’s narrative made me smile. He kept asking “Is it time for the wedding yet?” All throughout the ceremony. On that note, the concept of a wedding is hard to explain to a child haha. Malachi did great through most of the night but started to get a little overstimulated after a few hours so we had to sneak out.

Little Levi turns 5 years old today (Monday)! He woke up around 3am singing “Happy birthday to me” then drifted back off to sleep. While we were in Ohio he was able to celebrate with family. Jake and I don’t do formal traditions for birthdays so even the concept of blowing out a candle was new to him.

He also got to try a donut for the first time! And Malachi got to try tasting snow after a surprise dusting.

Our trip was wonderful and we all had such a nice time seeing faces we hadn’t seen in a long time.

It also was a reminder for me in many ways about the reality of the limitations our world is going to bring in the near future. Lifting Malachi up and down for four days solo took a toll on my body. The bigger he gets the more difficult adventures like these become. It also was a reminder about how limited we are by medical schedules. All of our adventures had to be planned around feeds and medication times.

These thoughts spiral me into a sense of mourning, knowing that Malachi absolutely loves these adventures but my ability to provide him with these trips is limited. Malachi was a rockstar, trying so hard to keep things easy on me. He has the ability to hold his bladder and his poop (something we discovered this year in the process of potty training Levi) so before we go into an environment that will be hard to change a diaper in I ask him to empty himself so he can hold it.

Romans 8:18-21;24-25 “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God….For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.”

If I am being perfectly honest, the reality checks from this weekend spurred some unexpected grief in my soul. Whenever that spark hits my lens in which I view everything follows the flame and tries to take over my mind. I had one moment this weekend where the frustration of reality caught up with me and I felt my eyes fill with tears. In our world in Tennessee we are able to feel like our day to day is normal. But when I am in new environments surrounded by typical it highlights how abnormal and complicated our world truly is. I don’t know how to explain it. It is almost like the typical reminds me of what we have truly lost…things I didn’t even know to mourn over are now brought to light.

In that moment I prayed for God’s peace and He immediately reminded me of the word “hope”.

As hard as this life and calling is, we have been given a gift of anticipation and hope in measures that others don’t get. The things that others celebrate here on earth we will have the treasured gift of celebrating in heaven with our Creator. This verse above talks about waiting in eager expectation and I can absolutely assure you that I am in that camp!

And this verse about creation being “subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.”

Wow. What a powerful verse and a much needed remind about the role of hope in faith. And how important patience is in our walk with the Lord.

Thank you God for the gift of hope. It is the fuel that kept me going this weekend as I thought about all the many “firsts” my Malachi has to look forward to in heaven. And I am thankful for an imagination that let’s me picture that sweet smile on his face as he stands boldly at the throne of God.

Much love,

Leah

We tried hard to escape the head cold germs from last week but they came ready for round two. We had a very special needs night that has made me laugh due to the sheer ridiculousness of it, so I thought I would share it with you.

On Wednesday evening Levi was a bit more emotional than normal so my suspicions were up that something new was brewing. He had fully recovered from the cold but looked to be getting sick again. In addition to looking rough, his stridor (noisy breathing) at night was loud enough to hear from across the house, which is a sign that his airway is cramped (swollen or excess drainage being the cause).

As so many of our adventures do, this one requires a bit of a snapshot into our world. For the last several years we have had unconventional sleeping arrangements after a scary incident with Malachi being in a bed by himself. Jake sleeps in the master bedroom and I am in another bedroom with a bed with a firm mattress that doesn’t shake with movement for Malachi and I to share.

Malachi’s seizure activity at night makes us extremely uncomfortable leaving him alone. He can’t sleep on his back due to his reflux issues and his inability to clear vomit should he throw up in that position. So each night I position him very specifically and make sure a part of my body is touching his so I can feel if he seizes at night. When Malachi seizes he has incredible strength and contorts to the right. Each night he has at least two seizures like this, requiring me to rescue him by pulling his head out of the pillow until the seizure stops. I took a picture for Jake a few weeks back when Levi and I were heading to Cincinnati for surgery to help him understand the new sleep concerns.

Malachi is 9 years old but we have to maintain the vigilance of having a newborn since his body can’t escape the dangerous situations he gets himself into.

Also in that bedroom is a twin bed with sides to keep Levi contained while he sleeps since he is hooked up to his feeding pump at night. There are nights that I am convinced that the feeding pump is my arch nemesis, alarming for kinks in the tubing more than 6 times some nights this week. Levi is a wiggle worm when he sleeps.

That night I was able to get Malachi into the bed by 2am, something that I haven’t been able to successfully do for several weeks. I was relishing in my small victory as my head hit the pillow and my eyes closed. Within thirty minutes Levi abruptly sat up screaming “I don’t want to go to the doctor!”. I was desperately trying to quiet him down before he woke up Malachi and when I asked him what was wrong he said that his ear was hurting. When Levi gets worked up his narrow airway gags him and he starts heaving, ready to vomit.

You must be reading this thinking, I thought she said this was laughable and none of this is funny. Patience my friends.

I needed to go pull Motrin for Levi but didn’t want to unhook his feeding pump to bring him with me. He was begging to lay in “the big bed next to Malachi” so I put him and his feed bag in the big bed and turned on the Waltons for him, one of his favorite shows. I ran to grab Motrin and a water flush and ran back in and medicated Levi through his gtube. This is a process mid-feed with lots of thinking but I finally got him medicated and somewhat calmed down. I then slid into the bed between him and Malachi, trying to keep everyone in a sleepy state.

I took a deep victorious breath, so happy to have my head hit a pillow again when I suddenly felt a warm liquid seeping through my clothing. I sat up and realizing that I was laying in a puddle of pee. Levi in his emotional panic had wet the bed, peeing all over the blankets AND somehow peeing all over Malachi’s pillow. I watched in horror as the liquid inched closer to Malachi’s hair, stopping with about two inches to spare. And by some miracle Malachi was still sound asleep.

So I made the executive decision that we would all just sleep in the pee puddle and figure it out the next morning. It was a long night, but Levi slept for a few hours. The next day I took him to the doctor and sure enough, he did have an ear infection. We started antibiotics and he is not 100% yet but getting there.

Levi was an emotional ball of nerves as we drove to the doctor. His medical PTSD kicked into high gear when we pulled into the parking lot and he started shaking uncontrollably. The pediatrician office that we use is so accommodating for our family and agreed to bring the doctor out to the parking lot so that I wouldn’t have to unpack Malachi and take him into a very germs environment and also to accommodate Levi’s anxiousness. Levi’s physical reaction to the doctor is so pitiful to see. We had gone through every detail of what to expect but as soon as he sees scrubs he loses his mind. Bless his little heart.

Malachi is still recovering from last week’s cold as well, trying to manage the post-cold cough that is lingering. With his system being a tiny bit off he has been running low grade fevers on and off throughout the week; this is pretty par for the course for him. But his oxygen levels have been GREAT and he hasn’t required any supplemental O2.

We spent the week knocking out chores at the house and trying to heal. And Levi preached some more sermons, of course.

If everyone can get healthy enough this week, the boys and I are going to attempt a trip to Ohio to see family and attend a wedding! I am sure it will be quite the adventure. We have been really wanting to do some fun Ohio trips so that Levi doesn’t always associate the state with surgery and pain.

We have been seeking God a lot lately on so many different things. It is almost overwhelming to think about the many things that we are mentally processing right now.

One of those things is schooling for Levi. There is a local grant that is willing to help fund a portion of his tuition at a small school in our area and we are considering enrolling him after Christmas for a variety of reasons.

1) Levi needs some autonomy. He needs something that is his. He is learning so many incredible lessons and such empathy from living with an amazing brother like Malachi; I think independence and personalized attention will be really good for him.

2) I am told to expect learning deficits from Levi due to his brain damage. Little known fact, Levi and Malachi share the same brain damage diagnosis called Hypoxic Ischemic Encephalopathy (HIE) and are complete opposite ends of the spectrum of that diagnosis. I firmly believe that Levi can learn if he is given the right environment that sees his potential.

3) As much as I would love to homeschool Levi, I don’t know that I am the person for that job right now. I am stretched so thin and dealing with so much mom guilt about not being able to give 100% to each of the things that beckon me.

This is still something we are actively praying about and seeking God on. But part of that process was touring the school this week. Levi was smitten and anxious all at the same time. This particular school has a very small class size and has accommodations in place for students that need a little extra help without the government incentives for special education. Just for some perspective, a student with Malachi’s level of complexity brings $7,500 from the government for his services in the public education setting. That money goes into a generic special education account for the county and isn’t always used for him specifically. This particular school that we toured seemed ready and willing to work through his complexities, like the feeding tube, physical restrictions, and his seizures.

This has been a season of life where I have been praying about very specific things but not getting specific direction from God. But in God’s amazing way He has been guiding me through several truths from His Word as I wait patiently (or impatiently sometimes) on that direction.

One of the things He continues to press on my heart is a call to clothe myself in humility. As I have been studying scripture this week I read one that has made me really think about the concept of humility.

Deuteronomy 8:2-3 “Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years. Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you.”

I often get frustrated when I am not getting a clear direction form God, which highlights my need for humility. I operate like my timeline should be God’s timeline, which is a very arrogant stance to take with my Creator.

This verse is referencing the Israelites who left Egypt and spent 40 years wandering in the desert before God led them to the promised land. Talk about a season of waiting! But the purpose was “to humble you and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.”

Seasons of waiting absolutely reveal what it truly in our heart. These seasons test our faith, our obedience, and our desire to give Lordship to Him. Our uncomfortableness highlights our true inner thoughts.

The literal bread from heaven (manna) sustained the Israelites each morning and each night. And in the same way, God sometimes gives us just what we need to get through the next few hours, including His wisdom and direction. And my frustration that stems from not having an abundance highlights my need for humility. He is God and I am not, and my impatience is revealing my heart.

But I also love the reminder at the end of the verse that the Israelites clothes did not wear out and their feet did not swell. Even in their moments of discipline God was still so good!

I am rambling now! I made the mistake of saving the devotional thought for the morning and all chaos has ensued. Levi has thrown up four times this morning and has had some other drama that antibiotics can often bring on. He is feeling crummy so I am going to sign off of here and snuggle up next to my sweet boy and listen to the rain.

Please remember both boys in your prayers this week, that we can return to full health. And pray for my patience as I wait on the Lord, cultivating a heart of humility in the process.

Much love,

Leah