We were blessed this week with some wacky weather leaving Jake with a two day work week! We loved spending the extra time together as a family, running errands and enjoying using some gift cards from Christmas on some nice meals out in between errands. We love having dad around!
Levi is still very cautious about what he will try and we are just as cautious about what we will give him. Imagine our surprise when he stole an onion off of my salad and sucked on it for 5 whole minutes. Goofball.
This week we will go back to the eye doctor for a checkup. Historically I leave these appointments very discouraged but I am praying that this one will end differently.
Malachi got to go back to school one day this week and had a really great day! He also got a sharp looking haircut.
Malachi had his weekly horseback therapy session and he really enjoyed that his dad was there to watch him. He worked extra hard, clearly showing off for dad. Levi not only sat on the horse but also let it walk about 30 feet with him sitting with the therapist! With his new cerebral palsy diagnosis it would be really good for his core muscles if we were able to get him into some hippotherapy sessions as well.
Both boys are continuing to make progress in feeding therapy. Malachi likes to pretend that everything he eats is bugs or snakes and gladly attempts anything you give him. Levi is a bit pickier and tends to throw most of his food on the floor in protest.
There is a phrase “If you want to know how to treat someone with a disability just look at their sibling.” Levi has been showering Malachi with so much love lately, frequently holding his hand and giving him hugs and kisses. Whenever he gets scared, like during an intense movie scene, he clings to Malachi for safety. It really does touch my heart so much.
Both boys are dealing with a slight postnasal drip in their throats. For Levi this causes vomiting. For Malachi it causes junky breathing. His seizures and sparking back up due to the discomfort and his body temperature is also starting to fluctuate. Last night he went from 99.7 down to 96.1 in an hour. We finally have him back to a happy 98.6 but we are watching him very closely as it tends to change quickly.
When they are uncomfortable like this sleep is rare. And I am usually too anxious to sleep well when they finally crash for the night. We are in desperate need of a solid night of sleep!
We had a particularly rough night on Monday evening and Jake had to be up early on Tuesday to get to work. On those nights I take care of both boys and they tend to work on opposite schedules. Malachi stays up until midnight and wakes up for the day at 6am. Levi this week has been waking up at 2am and falling back asleep minutes before Malachi wakes up for the day.
Needless to say I was super cranky on Tuesday morning to the point where I was in tears. Yes, I realize how ridiculous this sounds but sleep has been scarce for 7 years and catches up with me every now and then. As I was ranting about being up so early I remembered the story about Jesus sleeping on the boat during a storm. I yelled to the boys “Even Jesus Christ needed sleep!!!” They just looked at me like I was crazy and I went back to my pity party.
But later I looked up that story, sure that if God laid in on my mind and heart there was something in there that He needed me to read.
Matthew 8:23-26 “When He got into the boat, His disciples followed Him. And behold there was a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being covered with the waves; but Jesus Himself was asleep. And they came to Him saying, ‘Save us Lord; we are perishing!’ He said to them, ‘Why are you afraid, you men of little faith?’ Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and it became perfectly calm.”
Yes, in these verses we get a beautiful reminder of the humanity of Jesus. His physical needs like sleep and hunger still had to be met, even though He was fully God.
But it is the storm that caught my eye.
The Bible is very descriptive of this storm in telling us that the boat was being covered by the waves. In the other gospels we read that the boat was already filling up with water and they began to be in danger. And as you would expect, panic began to settle over the men.
Oh how many times I have felt like I have been on that very boat. I am sure you have been on a similar one at one point in your life. You look around and all you can see is the daunting and dark waves slapping you in the face. The boat, the place you are supposed to feel safe and secure (especially with Jesus on it) is now a shaky foundation and you start to doubt if you will survive the storm.
I had my boat moment this week as I looked at the facts…there is no way that I would be able to function as a medical mama on just 2-4 hours of sleep each night. The stressors of each day slapping me over and over again the in face and with them bringing dangerous doubt.
And oh how I relate with the disciples as they race over to Jesus, shocked to find him sleeping calmly through this storm. How many times do we convince ourselves that our distress isn’t seen in our storms? Or ignored by God as the waves keep growing. Our tone tends to waver between fear and anger that He hasn’t intervened already.
But read Christ’s response: “He said to them, ‘Why are you afraid, you men of little faith?’ Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and it became perfectly calm.”
Oh man, did I feel conviction after reading that part.
I like to justify my fear by thinking it is rational, logical, and deserved. But when you are a child of God, that fear indicates a malnourished faith life. When we allow logic to trump our faith in God’s plan and power we show a lack of faith in Him.
So what should we do when we face those waves?
Treat them the way Christ did. Rebuke them in the name of Jesus and watch as even the storms in our life obey Him.
So this week I am going to work on replacing my panicky heart with a faith filled one. If God has called me to this motherhood role then He will certainly equip me with the energy needed to fulfill it in a God honoring way. I am praying this week that God sees fit to calm the storms in our world. And if not, I pray that He gives me a portion of His strength to be able to rebuke that storm and sleep right through it.
This week let’s remind ourselves to not fear the waves but to embrace the opportunity to allow them to strengthen our faith.