We have had a week of adventure! Play dates with friends, trips to the playground with cousins, rides in the “little truck”, and lots and lots of swimming.

I have been having some reality checks this week and I am realizing that physically I may not be able to keep up with helping Malachi participate for much longer. He is growing so much right now and safely maneuvering him without accidentally hurting him is becoming a challenge. Both Jake and I are showing signs of wear and tear from overusing muscles we typically wouldn’t be using. But aside from our body whining, our greater concern is Malachi’s mental health.

Malachi is very aware of being excluded so balancing these things is going to be difficult. But for now we will keep doing the best we can to help him live life as a 9 year old looking for adventure and fun.

We had some hospital days this week and Malachi had to get some more blood work done to check his liver enzymes (which are perfectly normal). His ability to handle things that I even struggle with is so inspiring to me. And Levi cried on behalf of Malachi during the blood draw. Levi’s empathy is unmatched.

This week each year hits my heart in some special ways. Malachi spent 112 days in the NICU at birth and May 27th, 2013 was the day we brought him home from the hospital. It was the first time he was wire free. The first time we held him truly unsupervised and unmonitored. The first time we truly felt like parents.

Malachi had grown from a 1lb 12oz micropreemie into a 6lb four month old with a broken femur and a host of medical conditions. I remember staring at him the whole ride home, watching him breathe, as Jake nervously gripped the steering wheel. Then I remember not wanting to sleep that night, gripped with fear that something bad would happen to him if I closed my eyes. But the exhaustion took over and I remember saying a prayer to God and asking Him to send angels to watch over Malachi as we slept.

I had to choose surrender.

And I daily continue to have to choose surrender.

My body, my brain, and my heart are simply not strong enough to live this life apart from God’s help and guidance.

I have been reading Ecclesiastes over the last few weeks and I really feel like God is drawing me to do some digging into Ecclesiastes 3. It is a scripture passage that is cited and used in so many settings but as I have been reading it with fresh eyes this past month I have spotted things I 1) don’t understand fully and 2) never noticed before. That is a very clear indication that I need to spend some time studying the context and commentaries surrounding this chunk of scripture.

But there are a few of these lines that speak DIRECTLY at some of the things I am struggling with in my life right now. And I am confident that something will speak to you within these verses about a current situation you are dealing with.

Take a minute to read through the first half of this chapter and do any of the lines prick your heart and mind?

Ecclesiastes 3:1-10

There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—

² A time to give birth and a time to die;
A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.
³ A time to kill and a time to heal;
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
⁴ A time to weep and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn and a time to dance.
⁵ A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.
⁶ A time to search and a time to give up as lost;
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
⁷ A time to tear apart and a time to sew together;
A time to be silent and a time to speak.
⁸ A time to love and a time to hate;
A time for war and a time for peace.

⁹ What profit is there to the worker from that in which he toils? ¹⁰ I have seen the task which God has given the sons of men with which to occupy themselves.

I keep asking God if there is something specific He wants me to share with you all this week, and He has led me to this scripture and nothing more.

When He does that I assume it is because the scripture alone (not Leah) needs to do some talking to someone reading it. If you haven’t spend time studying scripture before I want to encourage you to pick one of these verses and start there. Read the verse in several different versions and note the similarities and differences in the words they each use. Type the scripture into Google and put the word “commentary” after it and read several different links that pop up.

Spend some time in prayer asking God to help you be able to apply these verses into your own life and your own current situations. Trust that the Bible is living and active and watch God speak to you through it this week!

Malachi heads back to the pulmonologist this week to talk about his lungs and the new treatments we have been trying with him. Please continue the prayers for our family.

Much love,

Leah