Let’s hear it for a tear free week! I think last week depleted the tear reserve.

There is something very special going on with Malachi’s little brain and I have been so encouraged to see such big changes in him lately.


This isn’t exactly the best picture of Malachi but it is significant to me as his wheelchair is inclined as upright as it will go! His head control has been amazing today. What a big boy.

Every day he does something to remind me how intelligent and “typical” he truly is. This week we saw those moments frequently. In his soccer game on Saturday his team had so many players show up that they had to take turns playing. When it was Malachi’s turn to sit on the bench I told him he had to take a break and let his friends play and he cried big giant crocodile tears. He DID NOT want to sit, he wanted to play! When Malachi cries, it really does break your heart. It is pitiful. We explained to him that everyone had to take a turn and that he had not done anything wrong and he stopped crying.

By the way, he scored two goals this week! Go Malachi!!

He is also getting better at voicing (usually by signing) his opinions and decisions. We present multiple options, giving a pause after each one to allow him to sign yes. He loves the power it gives him. We let him choose what cartoon he watches, what bib he wears, what stuffed animal or toy he wants to take out with him.

His imagination continues to blossom. This week he was pretended to be a dinosaur and I made the mistake of picking him up…that stinker roared  and then bit my cheek and laughed about it. He knows better, but definitely got wrapped up in the imagination moment.

This week we had a hospital day in Chattanooga and Malachi had to get blood drawn. Jake and I are extremely protective over Malachi so he doesn’t often feel pain like a walking child would. He doesn’t trip, skin his knee, fall down. So when it comes time for him to get a shot or get blood drawn he usually cringes slightly, then laughs at the quick pain moment. Sweet boy. This week’s blood draw only took 2 needle sticks, praise the Lord!

Funny side note- while we were at the hospital (for our neurology appointment ironically enough) they decided to test the fire alarms. That meant I had to wind my way through the hallways with my 6 foot giant stroller, opening every single heavy metal door (12 to be exact) that had shut for safety reasons and trying to maneuver the stroller through. By the end I was laughing at the ridiculousness of the timing, and the fact that I was pushing my epileptic child through hallways with flashing lights, saying prayers they wouldn’t send him into a grand mal seizure like last time.

I told Malachi that morning that we would have an adventure after his appointments so we headed to the zoo. It was an overcast day and a decent temperature so I figured it was a good day to try out a zoo trip solo with the two of them.


It was a HUGE success! The cooler weather brought the animals out from hiding and almost every one we saw came right up to the window to see the boys. One of the monkeys gave Levi the stink eye then made a jump for his face. I figured Levi would be terrified but instead he was simply fascinated.


Malachi got to feed celery to the camel and pet a goat. We even got the black crow to say hello back to Malachi, much to his delight. I am a sucker and bought Malachi a toy snake from the gift shop (he adamantly chose the red one) and he has loved “scaring” people with it. It has been the topic of conversation everywhere he takes it.




I can’t really explain it well, but those brain changes I was talking about with Malachi were very evident on our zoo outing. He was so engaged and interested in what was going on around him. He searched with his eyes for every animal. And he listened intently to every word I said about the animals. He was particularly excited about the jaguar because one of the cartoons he watches has a jaguar in it.

We are going to try the aquarium next time around!

Levi has been tolerating his eye patching so much better than expected! I don’t really know how long it takes to see results from the patching but we are praying that the next eye appointment in three weeks goes better than the last one.


Levi is the wiggliest child I have ever met. It is almost unbelievable until you hold him yourself. I am struggling with the comparison game as I look at other babies, realizing how far behind Levi is for his age. I have to keep trusting that God is continuing to heal his brain.



Speaking of trusting God, Jake and I continue to believe that God will supply all our needs. He hasn’t failed us yet, and I am confident that He will continue to be our Provider. But we also look for times when God provides opportunities for US to supply our needs. Recently the secretary job at our church opened up and I felt led to pursue it. It is too long of a story to post on here, but after many ups and downs in the process I will now be working at the church office on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings. It is such an accommodating job for our situation as I am able to take both boys with me. We brought some baby gear and one of Malachi’s new adaptive seats to the office and this past week went smoothly. It is so refreshing to have a non- mom thing to do with my brain. And we are so thankful to God for opening that door for me.


This week I will be speaking to our Wednesday night women’s class. This is an interesting task, as they already know our story. They have had a front row seat! So I have been praying for God to show me what needs to be said. Last week God gave me some guidance to talk about how quickly we can go from a mountaintop down to a valley. Oh boy, I know all about that experience haha!

My friend Johnny that passed away last week had a verse that he always quoted to Jake and I.

James 1:27  Pure and undefiled religion before our God and Father is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world.

This week I keep repeating this verse over and over again in my head, and as I often do I have been fixated on one word…”unstained”. The more I thought about that word, the more imagery I got from it.

God has placed each of us exactly where we are for a reason. But part of our task as His children is to not allow the world to stain us. We are to be in the world but not of the world.

I started thinking about the ways I have allowed the world to stain me. Like my mentality that I “deserve” things. Or the innate desire to put myself first as often as possible. Our world breeds selfishness and tries to convince us that it isn’t a bad thing.

On Saturday we went to Malachi’s soccer game and then went for a drive. We have a Mennonite community about 15 minutes from us and they sell baked goods, fruits, vegetables, and other crafted things. It is usually packed out on Saturdays but since we were that direction anyway we decided to stop.

As we drove onto their land I could see tiny little toddlers running around with their older siblings and playing on hay bales. One little girl, about 6 years old, shyly smiled and waved to me as we drove by…watching us with such curiosity. The simplicity of the moment was beautiful. That word “unstained” popped into my mind as I thought about how much easier that charge might be for that little girl as she grows up in such an isolated place.

But then I realized that the staining comes from within. The world changes us from the inside out. While they have less influences in the Mennonite community, the temptation towards the things that stain are everywhere. Even Adam and Eve in a God given paradise were drawn to the things that stained.

But God is a God of grace. He knows our nature, and he doesn’t expect perfection. But He DOES expect effort. He expects conscious decisions that bring us closer to Him and further from the world.

Am I giving enough of an effort?

Philippians 4:7    And the peace of God,which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

So this week as I continue to word munch on “unstained” I will be praying for God’s peace, that it will help guard my heart from the stains that I may encounter. And I am also praying for sharper eyes, that I can see those stains before I even take steps close enough to encounter them.

May we all do our best to remain unstained by this world.

Much love,



4 thoughts on “Unstained

  1. I’m glad this was a week of no tears! ❤ After seeing your fun zoo day, we took Sarah’s 5 year old to the zoo today and had a great time! A lot of the animals were already sleeping by 10:45 when we got there, but there were some who were active. We decided to get the grandparents’ pass and go whenever we can, even though we’re an hour from Chattanooga. I am so happy for all the progress you’re seeing in Malachi! I have some books Sarah’s mother-in-law and I have made for ministry. I will send some for the boys. The one called Fluffy ‘ s Fairies was illustrated by Dr. Jeanie’s oldest, last year when she was 7. Please tell Malachi that all the animals in the book are or have been on our farm. (Our 2 Great Pyrenees, who were old, died after we printed the book.) We send that book to children’s hospitals or to children who have cancer or fragile health. If you would like extra copies for others on his soccer team, etc, I’d be happy to get them to you to give out as you wish.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s