As I sit in the cabin listening to the rain on our metal roof I can’t help but breath a sigh of relief and smile…it is always good to be home! In fact, we just pulled into the driveway about 20 minutes ago from our big Ohio adventure.
Malachi seems to be “adventured out” and did not handle the trip north as well as we had hoped. After weeks of calm and predictable Malachi, he suddenly morphed into chaotic and scary Malachi. He struggled this week with some pretty intense seizures and had one that resulting in him not breathing for a few seconds, something that hasn’t happened in several months. He developed a knack for waiting until we were in a very public place like a restaurant before seizing intensely and projectile vomiting. He was up and down at all hours of the night, sometimes waiting until 8am to fall asleep for a spell.
As messy and stressful as Malachi’s week was, most of it was absolutely wonderful as we got to visit with family. We were able to connect with relatives that we only get to see once or twice a year and Malachi was his snuggly self when his great grandmothers held him close. He is just about too big for them to hold onto easily so I am very glad we made the trip this summer!
Malachi has been surprising us lately with his ability to listen and understand our words. I am 100% confident that he understood this morning when we told him we were going home, and he sat in the back seat with the cutest look of anticipation on his face as we made the 7 hour journey. We stopped at a random Mexican restaurant for lunch on the way home and he was the wildest I have ever seen him, wiggling and dancing to the mariachi band playing on the radio. As we got closer to the house he started squealing with joy, without us even saying a word about being close. He is one smart little boy!
One of our favorite Malachi moments from the week happened one morning shortly after he woke up. Jake brought him into the living room at my father’s house (who is not a dog owner) and Malachi looked around excitedly and said “Dogs”! He is so used to being greeted by his puppies every morning! He was thrilled when we went to his grandma’s house and found a dog.
Jake and I are pretty worn out as we still have not fully recovered from our busy week last week! The rest of our summer will be devoted to therapies, doctors visits, and staying close to home. Oh, and lots of visits to the pool for Malachi. A much as we love adventure we are learning how drastically different things can be with a special needs child. Even short visits with family had to be calculated carefully, being conscious of medication schedules, feeds, and making sure Malachi could tolerate the excitement. Life has gotten very complicated. Again this week I found myself on the verge of crying multiple times, simply overwhelmed with taking care of my own child. Life is just so very complicated.
Today at lunch we passed a family when walking in to the restaurant. Almost immediately my “special needs radar” went off, not because of a child I saw but rather the way the parents were looking at Malachi. Both sets of parents studied the other, and there was a silent acknowledgement between us…an unmistakable bond. Their son came through the doors, stimming loudly and we smiled at him and walked in. No words were exchanged but it was absolutely refreshing to see someone else in our world that understood our struggles a bit. Someone else that was choosing to simply live life, despite the stares and awkward moments that we encounter daily with Malachi. It can be a lonely world, but those few seconds in the parking lot brought me some peace.
I read a quote this week in my devotional book that made an impression on me.
“The burden of suffering seems to be a tombstone hung around our necks. Yet in reality it is simply the weight necessary to hold the diver down while he is searching for pearls.” -Julius Richter
Reading this made me think about the pearls that we have discovered in our journey with Malachi. We have learned the concept of true unconditional love. We have seen firsthand the mysterious ways of God and felt the precious feeling of release when we hand our burdens over to him.
The Bible says in Matthew 11 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
What a wonderful relief it is to know I have access to the shoulders of God to lean on for comfort.
Please pray with us that Malachi’s seizures stop and that his little body can get some much needed rest. Pray that he can transition easily back into his routines at home.
Thank you for checking in on our family! We love you.
Jake, Leah, and Malachi